The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?"

"Yes. What can we do for you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his
firewood."

"Thank you, this will be noted."

Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom's house. They
search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood,
find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave.

The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug
Enforcement guys come by?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood for you?"

"Yeah, they did."

"Okay, now it's YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
[an error occurred while processing this directive]