The bartender walks over and tells him this is a
very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here.

The guy says, "You don't understand.  I'm very
hi-tech.  I     had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying
the cellular."

The bartender says "Prove it!"

So the guy dials up a number and hands his hand to
the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a
brief conversation.

"That's incredible", says the bartender, "I  would
never have believed it!"

"Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my
broker, my wife, you name it.  By the way, where is the men's room?"

The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy
goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by, and he doesn't return.

Fearing the worst, given the violence in the
neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room.  He sees the guy is
spread-eagle against the wall.  His pants are pulled down and he has a roll
of toilet paper shoved up his bottom.

"Oh my god!" said the bartender.  "Did the locals
rob you? Are you hurt?"

The guy casually turns around, and says "No, I'm OK.
I'm just waiting for a fax."

[an error occurred while processing this directive]