Sam and John were out cutting wood when John cut his arm off.
Sam remained calm, wrapped the arm in a plastic bag, and
took the arm and John to a surgeon.

"You are in luck," said the surgeon. "I am an expert in
re-attaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have
completed the operation."

So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said, "I did
it faster than I expected. Jon is down at the pub."

Sam rushed down to the pub and was amazed to see John playing darts.

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again
when John accidentally cut off his leg.

Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back
to the same surgeon.

"Legs are harder," said the surgeon, "but I'll see what I
can do - come back in six hours."

Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished
early - John's playing football."

Sam went to the field and to his surprise found John kicking
50 meter torpedoes.

A few weeks later, Sam and John were cutting wood again,
when John accidentally cut off his own head.

Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest
of John to the surgeon, confident that the skillful
surgeon would do the job.

"Gee, heads are really difficult to re-attach," the surgeon
muttered, "but I'll see what I can do - come back in 12 hours."

Sam returned in 12 hours.

"How did it go, Doc?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. John died," the surgeon replied.

He suffocated in the plastic bag, you idiot!!"
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