A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):
"
Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we
note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment
the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application,
we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral
property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be
necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"
Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered
by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this
country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know
that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year
of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed
FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained
from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The
land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the
year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted
the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the
Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus'
expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created
this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made
that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner
of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the
world as we know it AND the FHA.
I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"
He got the loan.