Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away
and left
his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch
it till
she's fourteen.
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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator
told Bubba that she would send someone out
right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked,
"Can you spell that for me?
"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag
her
over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
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How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and
the person at the front desk says "go right ahead."
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How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee
to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
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How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
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Why did God invent armadillos?
So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Oklahoma.
If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The Driver says, "Bout what?"
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What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
I-40.
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Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward
each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
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A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed
next
door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here.
My house
is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
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Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of
18 or
more?
'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
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What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A
full set
of teeth.
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