A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel.   Realizing he needed a Haircut
before the next day's meeting,  he called the desk clerk to ask if there was a 
barber on the premises.

I'm  afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from
your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00,
and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to
buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and
surveyed is reflection, which showed the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a  sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.'

"Why not?" thought  the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into
the  slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he
pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine  had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service
Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his
fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When
the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost
passed  out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the
salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit. Which now had a button
sewn on the end.